I’ve been making an attempt to do a number of issues otherwise in 2025.
Particularly, transferring in the direction of moments or issues that make me uncomfortable.
(I don’t imply “instances when I’m in bodily hazard,” in fact.)
However moderately, I’m going to run towards the issues that my mind tells me, “That is uncomfortable, I don’t like this, keep away from it in any respect prices.”
The e-mail I’m afraid to open. The dialog I’m afraid to have. The query I’m afraid to ask. The flexibility to be alone with my ideas (yikes).
After I attain for my cellphone or Netflix or Ps controller to keep away from being bored or uncomfortable or unhappy or responsible…
I’m making an attempt to construct some self-discipline to pause first.
To not keep away from, distract, or entertain myself away from what’s actually taking place.
To not zone out or run away, Monty-Python fashion.
If I’ve the braveness to take a seat there and actually ask the query, “Why is that this making me really feel uncomfortable?” there’s beneficial classes to be discovered.
Lean into The Discomfort
Creator Pema Chodron lays out the next in her guide When Issues Fall Aside:
“We regard discomfort in any kind as dangerous information.
…emotions like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and worry.
As an alternative of being dangerous information, these are literally very clear moments that train us the place it’s that we’re holding again.”
This stuff could be unbelievable lecturers if we give ourselves the house to study.
However that’s fairly the ask in 2025:
Because of the web and our telephones and same-day supply, we will spend each minute of every single day hiding from practically each single uncomfortable feeling in our lives. We by no means must be bored, we by no means must really feel “dangerous,” we by no means have to handle the elephant within the room.
We are able to simply swipe, click on, faucet, or disassociate to keep away from any and all “dangerous” emotions.
We are able to conceal from them with infinite leisure and luxury (even when it retains us from getting what we actually need).
After all, these dangerous emotions don’t go away—they’re nonetheless there, and the issues we’re avoiding will finally should be handled.
When I attempt to conceal from discomfort, I do know I’m not really avoiding it. I’m not maintaining it boxed up.
I’m trapped in Pandora’s Field with the monsters.
Blaise Pascal, a Seventeenth-century thinker, mentioned it greatest:
“All of humanity’s issues stem from man’s lack of ability to take a seat quietly in a room alone.”
These Emotions are Attempting to Train Us!
Many emotions of discomfort are screaming to show us one thing if we will reframe how we really feel about them.
As Chodron factors out:
“They’re like messengers that present us, with terrifying readability, precisely the place we’re caught.
This very second is the right instructor, and, fortunate for us, it’s with us wherever we’re.”
Life has a means of constructing that quiet, uncomfortable feeling get louder and louder till we will’t assist however tackle it…
However we will save ourselves fairly a little bit of time if we acknowledge the worry, lean in sooner, and acknowledge life is making an attempt to show us one thing.
That’s my problem for you this week.
What if…
We requested, “Am I actually hungry, or am I simply soothing myself with meals?”
We acknowledged we had been scared or anxious or nervous after which requested (with compassionate curiosity) what was behind the sensation?
Life is making an attempt to show us classes every single day.
We simply must be brave sufficient to be uncomfortable to see it.
-Steve
