Stephen Wilson Jr. was a scientist working for Mars, Inc. (Yeah, the Sweet firm).
Someday, his boss pulled him into an workplace and mentioned one thing that modified his life:
“Stephen, you’re about to get promoted.”
Usually a trigger for celebration, this was as a substitute meant as a warning by his boss.
In a previous life, Stephen had been a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He additionally spent his evenings writing songs.
His boss knew Stephen was a rattling good songwriter, and the place he actually belonged.
He informed Stephen concerning the golden handcuffs:
“You’re in line for a promotion they usually’re grooming you for the subsequent degree.
And also you’re form of at a crossroads.
As a result of if you happen to take [the promotion], like I took it 30 years in the past, your desires of being a songwriter, they’re gonna be gone. That is going to devour each little bit of you.
Proper now you possibly can write songs and do that job, however 6 months from now I’m undecided you’re gonna have the ability to. So I simply need to provide you with a warning.”
That tiny voice in Stephen’s head, that had been there for years and years, began to get louder.
6 weeks later, with that inside voice now at a deafening quantity, he put in his 2 weeks discover, which confused everybody (besides his boss and his spouse).
He began bartending and ready tables to make ends meet whereas honing his craft, making an attempt to get publishing offers in nation music…whereas getting rejected for not writing “bro nation” songs:
He was informed, “you write REAL songs. We will’t do nuthin’ with that…”
Years later, after some modest success writing songs for different musicians, he lastly labored up the braveness and expertise and clout to start out recording his personal songs.
And final yr, he lastly put out his debut album, Son of Dad, which Rolling Stone known as the most effective albums of 2023.
Lately, Stephen put out a jaw-dropping cowl of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me,” which I’ve listened to roughly 10,000 occasions over the previous month.
(Severely, please watch this video. It’ll provide you with goosebumps!).
Golden Handcuffs vs Uncomfortable Growth
From 2008-2010, I additionally lived a twin life.
I had my day job at Sixthman, serving to promote and produce floating music festivals. However I additionally spent my nights and weekends engaged on a bit web site serving to nerds get match.
My boss April and my mentor Andy (who owned the enterprise) each knew the place my coronary heart was; they inspired me to chase the uncomfortable way forward for making an attempt to make Nerd Health into my profession.
16 years later, we’re nonetheless going robust!
In Oliver Burkeman’s 4 Thousand Weeks, he encourages us to ask a selected query when making selections in life:
“The place in your life or your work are you at the moment pursuing consolation, when what’s known as for is a bit discomfort?”
Asking ourselves “what would make me happiest” will most probably lead us in direction of the brief time period, snug, protected possibility.
As a substitute, we needs to be considering which path will make us GROW as an individual, or which model will trigger us to SHRINK every week. We in all probability, deep down inside, know the reply to the query, if we’ve the braveness to ask it.
Burkeman’s recommendation:
“Select uncomfortable enlargement over snug diminishment every time you possibly can.”
Yep, typically chasing “uncomfortable enlargement” doesn’t lead to a songwriting deal, or a profitable enterprise. I’ve chosen the uncomfortable path and typically issues don’t work out. However that’s a part of the method, and at the least it removes the potential for unhealthy remorse!
Which brings me to immediately’s mission.
Let’s get snug with being uncomfortable
Let’s chase uncomfortable enlargement in 2025.
- After we power practice, we pressure our muscle tissue to get uncomfortable by lifting heavier and heavier weight – they reply by rising and adapting.
- If we use meals as a coping mechanism after we’re unhappy or indignant or bored, addressing our relationship with meals may be uncomfortable.
- When we’ve uncomfortable conversations, we will lastly deepen {our relationships} or rise up for the issues which might be essential to us.
In 2025, let’s ask the query:
The place in your life are you snugly residing in consolation and security, when deep down the trail of “uncomfortable enlargement” is what you actually need to develop and assist you to get what you actually need?
You won’t must stop your job instantly, or go all-in on a brand new purpose or change…
But it surely might be price asking your self that uncomfortable query.
Life is difficult, and alter is more durable.
Uncomfortable.
Scary.
Messy.
However if you happen to’re prepared to say NO to consolation, it may be precisely what you want.
-Steve
PS: We’re doing a free 5-day workshop for individuals who need to construct new habits that really stick in 2025, it begins in a couple of days!
